I Wanted To Be Yours
by skittles0765
Summary: PG13, it has some citrus in the beginning and some dark stuff at the end..ish! Basically Kagome's and Inuyasha's POV on their relationship.


Title: I Wanted To Be Yours Author: Skittles0765  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha...never have, never will.... --;; P.S. You might want to listen to the song October by Evanescence while OR before you read this. It fits my story very well  
  
[] is me throwing in a random comment or two .  
  
Inuyasha's POV  
  
All I ever wanted was to tell you I loved you. My foolish pride prevented me from doing so...I wish, now, that I had listened to my true heart for once. Every breath hurts, every movement is too painful...life is not worth living if your wonderful smile is not there to grace your face. Even though you're still here, I feel as though you're gone...  
  
Normal POV  
  
Inuyasha sat under a tree, gazing into the fire. The woman in his lap stirred in her sleep, and he stroked her hair. The tragic priestess Kikyo calmed and fell into slumber again. Sango and Miroku were watching with looks of distaste etched plainly across their features. Feeling ashamed, Inuyasha quickly switched his gaze to the broken miko sitting across from him on the other side of the fire. Guilt flooded his features at the haunted look that flashed through her eyes, only to be replaced with that empty expression that had been fixed to her face for the past few weeks. Kagome had become distant and cold ever since he had betrayed her that fateful night...  
  
Flashback   
  
"Ka—go—me!!" Inuyasha cried as he thrust into her once more and  
collapsed, spent, on the ground beside her.  
  
Kagome gave a small giggle and stretched happily, then cuddled up next  
to her beloved. Just before she fell asleep, she murmured, "I love you,  
Inuyasha..."  
  
.::Late at night, a few days after Inuyasha took Kagome's innocence::.  
  
Kagome had been busy cooking dinner for herself and her companions, and didn't notice Inuyasha's absence until the ramen was done. There was silence where there should've been a, "Hey, Kagome!! Hurry up with the damn ramen, I'm starving!" and/or the squeals of pain from Shippo as he was brutally bonked on the head for having just a little bit more ramen than Inuyasha.  
  
"Hey Sango, Miroku, where's Inuyasha? He's usually complaining right about now...come to think of it, I haven't seen him all evening. Have you?" Kagome asked worriedly. Sango and Miroku exchanged a pained glance, for they knew where Inuyasha had been all evening...in fact, for the past few nights, when he disappeared after he thought everyone was asleep, Miroku had seen the shinidamachuu in the area to where Inuyasha was heading.  
  
"Lady Kagome," Miroku finally said. After all, she had a right to know if her mate was a disgusting, vile, icky, villainous, witlessly imbecilic two- timing son of a bitch... "Inuyasha...was last seen heading in that direction points , towards that clearing over there..."  
  
"Thanks, Miroku! When I find him..." Kagome huffed as she ran to where Miroku was pointing. When she got to the clearing, what she saw infuriated and saddened her. There, in the clearing, were Inuyasha and Kikyo. Judging by the bite marks on the living corpse's neck, the two were lovers. They were so wrapped up in trading their ravenous kisses that they didn't notice Kagome. Kagome, never being voyeuristic, found that she couldn't tear her eyes away from the scene before her. She watched as Inuyasha made a trail of kisses down to Kikyo's bare breasts and sucked on her nipple. Kikyo arched against him and wasted no time in brazenly sliding her hand down his pants.  
  
"Oh Kikyo, I love you so much!" "What about my reincarnation?" Kikyo asked breathlessly. "Nothin' but a shard detector, baby," Inuyasha replied, giving Kikyo an extremely passionate kiss.  
  
Kagome had had enough.  
  
"INUYASHA!" she screeched menacingly. "What in the seven hells do you think you're DOING?"  
  
Inuyasha's head snapped up, his gaze still clouded with lust, to look at the enraged miko. He looked confused and dazed, but understanding soon cleared his head.  
  
"Kagome! What--wait—it's not what it looks like!!" he said, panicked.  
  
"Oh, so what you're saying is, I didn't just see you tell some dead BITCH that you LOVE her, didn't just see you practically FUCK her in the middle of the forest—" Inuyasha rudely interrupted her.  
  
"Kikyo is NOT a bitch, you stupid whore! She's a way better person and a WAY better lover! She's a REAL woman, while you're just a...girl." He spat venomously.  
  
Kagome burst into tears at that. "What about ME, Inuyasha?!?! I told you I loved you, I gave you my innocence!! You told me you loved me—"she was interrupted yet again.  
  
"Love you? LOVE YOU? You think that I could ever actually love you? I never said that, you idiotic girl!"  
  
"NO!! YOU'RE the idiot here!! I mean, you've been fucking a dead girl for Kami knows how long, you friggin' NECROPHILIAC! You are a stupid, two- timing, moronic HANYOU!! Not to mention a COWARD, and a FOOL!" Kagome seethed.  
  
"Why you stupid WENCH! I'll—I'll" Inuyasha spluttered.  
  
With a deadly calm, Kagome said, "You are very inarticulate and imbecilic; or, if you know more, it is darkened by malice and unthoughtfullness." [I know it's not a word, but it suits my purpose!!] With that, Kagome walked away, never looking back. She wouldn't speak for a long time after that episode. Of course, Miroku, Sango, Shippo and Lady Kaede easily figured out what happened. However, Inuyasha could not, for the life of him, figure out why Kagome wouldn't talk to him or anyone else. So, he asked Lady Kaede.  
  
"Hast thou not an eye in thy head? Ye broke Kagome's heart, ye oaf, took her innocence then left. She has every right not to speak to ye...give her some time, she will return again." Kaede told him. "Just be patient, lad."  
  
End of VERY long Flashback [a/n sorry if I annoyed ppl with it, but it  
explained a whole lot]   
  
Inuyasha winced at the painful memories. He stole another guilty glance at Kagome, and fell asleep.  
  
Kagome's POV  
  
I watched him, sitting there, with his precious clay doll. I suppose he's lucky, in a sense, to be loved by someone...even if it isn't me. I want him to be happy, but it still hurts. Had I really meant nothing to him? Ah well...what's done is done, I've been rejected, Kikyo's been chosen, and he has to live with the way I am now. Maybe I should get over it; maybe I don't want to. I like to see him wrestle with his emotions, watch the guilt flash through his eyes every time he looks at me. Sango and Miroku, on the other hand, just look at him with anger and regard me with pity. I want not their sympathy. I just want to be left alone, alone to deal with this pain and sorrow that's eating at my very soul. They'd be better off without me. This shard detector has been hit hard one too many times...it's broken. They have a new one now. They don't need me. I have nothing left.  
  
Normal POV  
  
Kagome made up her mind that night. After everyone had bedded down and fallen asleep, Kagome got up out of her sleeping bag, careful to not wake Shippo.  
  
'Poor Shippo.... this will be the second time he loses a parent,' Kagome thought mournfully. She gave him a kiss on the top of his head, as well as a quick hug. "I'm sorry baby...Mommy loves you, and I'll always be with you," she whispered, a few tears sliding down her cheeks and into Shippo's hair. "Goodbye..."  
  
Kagome walked to her bag and picked up a small bundle. She walked to the nearby hot springs, undressed, and slid in. The warmth of the water did little to comfort her. She gazed at the heavens while scrubbing herself with lavender. Stars shone brilliantly, galaxies swirled in myriads of colors, and the moon was a beautiful golden orb suspended in the misty air above the springs. Kagome sighed, then gave a small smile...her first in months. Done bathing now, she climbed out of the deliciously warm water into the slightly cooler air around her. She sat, naked, on a mossy rock next to the water and waited for her body to dry. She relished in the feel of the wind on her bare skin, a caring caress in her gloomy world. Finished drying, Kagome went to the small bundle she had brought with her. Inside was a beautiful kimono, black as night and embroidered in gold and silver, a sparkling hair comb, and a jeweled dagger. Kagome slipped into the kimono and pulled her hair back in the comb. She picked up the dagger, regarded it with a mixed expression, and stuck it into her obi. She tossed a final glance in the direction of the camp, and slowly turned. Along the treeline were many paths, most of them well used by humans and youkai alike. However, she touched none of these. Instead, when she reached a certain point at the woodline, she stopped and turned. This path she found awhile back, when their group had been around this area for a previous shard hunt. Kagome knew none would disrupt her here. She walked slowly down the path.  
  
Sesshomaru sat in a beautiful clearing in the forest. Stars in a myriad of colors swirled overhead, lightning bugs and natural crystals helping to add some light to the place. Not that he minded the dark; it was just that this clearing looked so beautiful with the eerie and haunting lights of will-o-the-wisps and the small, glowing fungi that grew on trees centuries old. Massive oaks towered above Sesshomaru's head, as well as many other types of trees. Crickets and spring peepers sang in the grass around him, creating a beautiful melody that soothed the soul and brought peace to a troubled mind. Combined with the sound of the bubbling stream at the edge of the clearing, the whole effect was very relaxing. No one knew of this place, and Sesshomaru reveled in the fact that it was his, and his alone. He looked around, admiring the drops of dew that glittered like a thousand jewels upon the many flowers and mossy rocks splashed throughout the clearing. Suddenly, the wind brought a foreign scent to his nose: Lavender. Someone else walked the paths of the Sacred Grove. Someone...female.  
  
Kagome knew beforehand that someone else was in the clearing she was about to step into. A youkai, to be exact. Not just any youkai, but Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyasha's older half brother.  
  
'Ah well,' She thought dryly. 'He can watch if he wants, it's not like I care...' and with that, Kagome stepped into the Sacred Grove.  
  
Sesshomaru lifted his head as he heard the unknown female enter. What he saw surprised him. It was his half brother's wench...Kagome. She looked, well, gorgeous, to say the least. Dressed in a black kimono that was embroidered beautifully in gold and sliver, he felt that she belonged to the night. Her soft, silky hair cascaded down her back in waves, catching the light in the Grove and shined with the light of the stars.  
  
"Hello, Sesshomaru," she called softly from across the clearing. Her voice carried a note of sadness and maturity that had not been there before.  
  
"Kagome," he replied, politely inclining his head in her direction. She walked up to him, hips swaying seductively, although she had no idea she was doing it. Sesshomaru just watched, halfway amused.  
  
"What brings you here?" she asked, coming to a stop at a respectful distance from him.  
  
"I would ask the same of you, miko," Sesshomaru said.  
  
"My business is my own, Lord." Kagome said smoothly.  
  
"As is mine...but, I have a question to ask of you." Sesshomaru cleared his throat. There was something much different about her, although he couldn't quite put his finger on it. "What are you doing in the Sacred Grove? How did you find it, and how were you able to walk its paths unscathed?" Sesshomaru questioned. Not many passed this way, but those who tried didn't always make it.  
  
"I don't know." She waved her hand around vaguely. "I found it one day, on a shard hunt. I thought it was so beautiful, and no one else knew of it, or so I thought," she glanced at him, then continued, almost to herself. "I thought it would be the perfect place..."  
  
"To..." Sesshomaru drew out, a little confused. Then it hit him. Kagome, once Inuyasha's mate, didn't smell of him. She...was free? But how? Sesshomaru had a vague idea, one involving a certain hanyou and his long dead lover. 'He must have left Kagome after Kikyo was resurrected. Foolish hanyou. This girl deserves not your betrayal and harshness.' Sesshomaru thought to himself. That's what was different about the girl. Betrayal had hardened her heart, made her more calm and collected, and changed her from the once happy innocent to this beautiful, angsty creature in front of him. He knew why she had come. He could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice...  
  
Kagome was surprised to feel Sesshomaru's clawed hand move down her cheek in a gentle caress.  
  
"Why...? Why here?" was all he said. Kagome's eyes widened as she understood that HE understood what she was here for.  
  
"No one would find me...no one would try to stop me. This place...it brings me peace in a life that hurts so much..." Kagome whispered rather brokenly and leaned into Sesshomaru's hand (a/n he was resting on her cheek after the caress). He embraced her, his heart weeping for the woman-child who was no longer innocent in body, heart, and mind.  
  
"Are you sure that this is the only way?" He whispered back, calmly stroking her hair.  
  
"I'm sure...it's the only way I'll ever be free." She tilted her head up and kissed him on the mouth, a chaste kiss, nothing more. She looked into his eyes, seeing the understanding and the pain in his soul.  
  
"I'll not stop you," He said gently. The wind picked up, entwining their hair together. "Listen!" Sesshomaru said suddenly. "The trees sing..."  
  
Kagome listened intently, and suddenly heard their song. A haunting melody sounded as the wind flowed around the trees, a song of pain and love. It eased their hearts and cleansed their souls.  
  
"I'm ready," Kagome said, looking deep into Sesshomaru's soul. She was surprised at what she saw. Pain, sorrow, anger, yes, but no hate. She also saw love. He pulled her into a final embrace, and she placed another kiss on his lips. "Goodbye, love," she said.  
  
"Farewell, brave miko," Sesshomaru said. "My Kagome..."  
  
She stepped back into the middle of the grove. Her hair flew wildly around her, though there was no more wind. She glowed a beautiful, soft blue. Her eyes focused on Sesshomaru as she pulled the jeweled dagger from her obi. Silent tears were running, unchecked, down his beautiful, sad face. She graced him with a smile, a true one, full of love and hope and promise.  
  
"We will meet again, koishii," she whispered affectionately. With that, Kagome drew her final breath and plunged the dagger into her stomach. Crimson blood flowed over her hands and down her black kimono, staining the ground beneath her feet. She crumpled to the forest floor, dead before she hit the ground. She lay so still, hair spread wildly around her, a look of infinite peace on her face. Had Sesshomaru not known, he would have thought her sleeping. She looked like a goddess. Slowly, he walked toward her, and removed the dagger from her body. He wept, wept for the beautiful, strong woman who had died for love. (a/n or lack of it, I dunno...sounds so pretty) He put the dagger in some hidden pocket, vowing never to lose it and never to wipe her blood from the blade. He lifted her body from the dewy ground, and hugged her to his chest. It began to rain.  
  
He stared at the sky in amazement. 'The heavens themselves weep for this woman-child...' He placed a gentle kiss on her still-warm lips, and began to take her body back to Inuyasha and the others, if only to show him what had happened because of the hanyou's foolishness. He didn't dare leave her body with them. She would be laid to rest in Sesshomaru's garden, under the Sakura tree by the koi pond and meditation stone. He entered Inuyasha's camp.  
  
Seeing the blood staining Sesshomaru's kimono and the still body of Kagome resting in his arms, almost everyone went hysterical. Sango clutched at Miroku desperately, crying for all she was worth. Miroku had silent tears running down his face. Poor Shippo wailed, a mournful cry loud and sad enough to wake the dead (a/n no pun intended.) Inuyasha just stood there, looking confused and sad, then angry.  
  
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER, YOU BASTARD?!?!?" Inuyasha screamed, his eyes bleeding red.  
  
"I have done nothing, brother," Sesshomaru whispered, his tears mingling with the rain, making it hard to tell if he was crying or not. The infinite sadness in his eyes belied his seemingly tear-free face. "Look upon this woman's body and see what you have done, brother. See what you have done! This woman has died because of you. She died...for love."  
  
Inuyasha suddenly hated himself more than ever. He looked at Kagome, tears welling in his eyes. He turned and ran. Ran away from the pain he had caused so many people this day.  
  
Kikyo was angry. Why hadn't Kagome's soul returned to her? She howled with rage and launched herself at Sesshomaru. "Why has my soul not returned to me yet?!?" she snarled.  
  
He clawed through her, destroying her clay body forever. "It was never yours," He said coldly. "I'm taking Kagome's body back to my castle, to be laid to rest there. You may visit any time you want," Sesshomaru said to the grieving Sango and Miroku, this time more gently. Then he took his leave.  
  
LATER  
  
"Aishiteru, saiai," he whispered to Kagome's still body, and kissed her one last time. Sango, Shippo, Kaede, Inuyasha, Jaken, Rin, Miroku, and Kouga watched as Sesshomaru placed Kagome's white-clad body in her grave. The headstone had only one thing on it; a dove. It was Rin's idea, and she said it was because,  
  
"She wanted everyone to know that she died for love,"  
  
The End  
  
A/N: Tell me what ya think! 'Twas but a one-shot, but there might be a sequel...keyword there MIGHT!! It all depends on what you tell me... 


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